Friday, March 20, 2009

Hey world!! So today was a pretty cool day, we didn't do much, but i didn't use so that is always a good thing! Well, I am happy to say that I might be going into residential treatment, which means I will be going to rehab somewhere in Illinois. I am excited because I think it will be a really good thing for me to do, not just for myself but for my family as well, it will give me time to think and get myself ready for the long road ahead known as recovery. Alot of people have been through recovery and say it is the best thing that has ever happened to them, so I hope it will be the same for me. I just know that I am ready to be sober and happy and not high all the time. For those of you out there who have used weed you know it makes you tired, hungry, slower and dumber. I just don't want to feel like that anymore, you know? I remember walking into places high and thinking "omg, do they know i'm high? what are they thinking? do they think i'm stupid or something?" and i remember, after getting sober, that i thought those things because i felt stupid for being so high and going out in public where everyone knew who i was. Like, people who knew me as a kid would just shake their heads at me and look sad, and the ones that i got stoned with just thought i was so funny, but then i started to realize that they looked really dumb, did I look like that? Probably, but anywho, I am on the right track now and hoping to stay that way. For me, my kids, and my life. I want a good job, but you got to pass a drug test, and i've never been able to. That ALWAYS scared me, going to apply for a job and seeing " can you pass a drug test?" Ummm... HELLO?? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN PASS? So silly when you think of it now, but i know it wasn't the right thing to do when i was 16, but especially now that i am an adult and i know how much it effects my life in every way. Not having enough energy, always forgetting everything, not remembering the day before, or worse, the night before!! ( lol, not funny i know but now i can laugh at who i was cause i am a different person.) Anywayz guys, i am just letting you know that it isn't so easy to stop something once you've started. So i am hoping that before using that first drug, you read this and understand, it only takes one hit, for your life to totally miss. GOT IT? Aight, im out for the night. Later everyone. Thanks for reading my world.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Google Video

Google Video
Hey world, my name is Tiffany Duranty. I'm just a small town girl from nowhere in Illinois. I'm 23 and i am also a stay at home mom of two beeutiful little girls. You'll see pics of them from time to time. So basically me and my husband just fill our days with spending time together and with the girls. Whose names by the way are Annabelle, and Karma. 4 and 2. In my life right now i am a recovering addict. My blog will be about the hard times and the struggle it is to be drug free in the world we live in. I am attending NA meetings and i am in treatment at the Prairie Center.
I started smoking pot when i was 16 and just never stopped. I used to tell myself it was because i used it to help with my bi-polar disorder(who doesn't ?) but since i've started treatment i have come to realize that i am in fact addicted to using it and have had a hell of a time stopping. Everyday is a constant tease as my friends and family use around me. My support system at this point is very flimsy and not really a system so much as a few people that i think are very concerned about my well being. Working the steps is alot easier said than done and everywhere around me people are giving up every day. Going into to jails, institutions, and unfortunately death. Yes death, there have been people that have been clean for YEARS and all of the sudden they think they can handle it just one more time and then that last hit, is literally their last breath. It is quite sad how much drugs have taken over our communities and for many of us addicts, our lives. We effect all of those around us without meaning to. We have people who can no longer depend on us due to our illness and the inability to control it. It is a very debilitating disease that more people need to realize is truly out there, instead of ignoring it as they go on about their day.
I am creating this blog to show people a different side of " getting clean." They need to know how hard it is and exactly what it is all about. The stress of trying to stay clean every day, the triggers that come up unexpectedly, the holidays that go by with others enjoying themselves by drinking and using. All of this is what i will be writing about day to day and my own personal struggle with my addiction. I hope to open some peoples' eyes and teach others about the real effects of drugs and therefore, maybe prevent some teens from using in the future. Maybe they will see this and reality will kick in and they'll know how wrong it is to do drugs. Not just because it's against the law, but because it's against the nature that god intended. Our bodies are not designed to use drugs and the more we do, the worse our bodies become. My hope is to influence just on teenager a day from using. Just one, just for today. Thanks for reading, there'll be more tommorow.Buh bye for now.