Hey world!! So today was a pretty cool day, we didn't do much, but i didn't use so that is always a good thing! Well, I am happy to say that I might be going into residential treatment, which means I will be going to rehab somewhere in Illinois. I am excited because I think it will be a really good thing for me to do, not just for myself but for my family as well, it will give me time to think and get myself ready for the long road ahead known as recovery. Alot of people have been through recovery and say it is the best thing that has ever happened to them, so I hope it will be the same for me. I just know that I am ready to be sober and happy and not high all the time. For those of you out there who have used weed you know it makes you tired, hungry, slower and dumber. I just don't want to feel like that anymore, you know? I remember walking into places high and thinking "omg, do they know i'm high? what are they thinking? do they think i'm stupid or something?" and i remember, after getting sober, that i thought those things because i felt stupid for being so high and going out in public where everyone knew who i was. Like, people who knew me as a kid would just shake their heads at me and look sad, and the ones that i got stoned with just thought i was so funny, but then i started to realize that they looked really dumb, did I look like that? Probably, but anywho, I am on the right track now and hoping to stay that way. For me, my kids, and my life. I want a good job, but you got to pass a drug test, and i've never been able to. That ALWAYS scared me, going to apply for a job and seeing " can you pass a drug test?" Ummm... HELLO?? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN PASS? So silly when you think of it now, but i know it wasn't the right thing to do when i was 16, but especially now that i am an adult and i know how much it effects my life in every way. Not having enough energy, always forgetting everything, not remembering the day before, or worse, the night before!! ( lol, not funny i know but now i can laugh at who i was cause i am a different person.) Anywayz guys, i am just letting you know that it isn't so easy to stop something once you've started. So i am hoping that before using that first drug, you read this and understand, it only takes one hit, for your life to totally miss. GOT IT? Aight, im out for the night. Later everyone. Thanks for reading my world.